Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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