Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
