my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize