that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
