apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize