I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
