Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
