i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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