flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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