I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
