No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
