Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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