Do you still have your period?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
