Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
