Where did you get a picture of my penis
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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