so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
