hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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