Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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