i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
