he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
