I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I look better un-naked...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
