Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
