oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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