So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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