No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
