Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
