the new term for farting is butt boxing.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
