I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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