The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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