put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
