im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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