I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
