is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
