wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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