So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
