Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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