Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
