TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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