i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
