FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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