you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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