he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
