belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
