Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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