i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize