You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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