So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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