we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
