The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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