I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
