Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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