we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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