there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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