I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
