I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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