And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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