i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
