Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
