i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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