someone get that fucking seahorse.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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