I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
